You never thought it could get like this
If you have been living with an alcoholic for any length of time, you begin to doubt your own sanity! When you moved in together, it never occurred to you that after the halcyon days of wining and dining were over, not only would his level of drinking not decrease, in fact it would increase!
It gets worse
With the passing of the years you have become more anxious and hurt at your partner’s behaviour. You have had a good few embarrassing moments too. You can see the patterns starting to emerge. You rarely ever go anywhere as a couple that doesn’t have a pub involved. Heaven forbid you should want to have a nice family picnic.
Often at social gatherings and family occasions, you are the last to leave because he wants to open another bottle.
More and more time and money is spent on his drinking. You are beginning to feel more angry and resentful, and scared too. You seem to have lost the man you thought you married. Without realising it, you have come to know what experts in the field of alcoholism know; that alcoholism is a chronic and progressive condition. It gets worse with the passing of time.
Part of the problem is that he can’t see the problem. For you, part of your problem is that you can’t see how your own behaviour is affected. You feel increasingly ashamed of his behaviour and apparent selfishness, to the point that you cover up to friends and family, even the children and his employers. You know you are living a lie.
Your life is on hold while you are preoccupied with what he is doing. You have become co-dependent.