How Does Your Relationship Rate?

What are your scores?

The Relationship Wheel includes most elements which contribute to a happy and fulfilling relationship.

Look at each domain and consider how you would rate your level of satisfaction as far as your relationship and that domain are concerned, on a scale of 0 – 10 (0 being low and 10 being high).  For a start, does your relationship encompass all of these elements? Which are missing?

Without placing blame, consider why those elements are missing. Have they always been missing? If not, when did they fade out? Let’s consider why each element is important.


The thing that distinguishes lovers from friends is intimacy, and an essential aspect of intimacy is connection. In my view connection between people assumes they are significant and of value to each other. It aso implies a sense of belonging which can be witnessed by others. They KNOW each other Connection can be broken when couples begin to take each other for granted or allow other aspects of life to take priority over their relationship for extended periods of time.


Everyone needs to have some leisure time; this is time when they are doing something that they want to do just because they want to and not because they feel they SHOULD, OUGHT OR MUST do it. Of course this can mean not actually doing anything! C or even the children.ouples need leisure time too when they can just focus on enjoying being together… NOT talking about work, other people, or even the children, but rather just enjoying being together, hanging out or perhaps weaving dreams together about their hopes and vision for their future. This helps to keep the spark alive.

Many couples shift from spending most of their spare time together to being too busy, with work, children, friends and family, to have time for each other. This often happens after children arrive, when a routine is needed for them. Where many go wrong is that they keep that routine going way beyond its shelf life. The couple is subsumed to the family’s needs. This is not healthy for the couple OR the family.


Many couples find that the period when their children are young is the most difficult financially so they each or both tend to work more outside the home to make ends meet. Others, want to have a comfortable standard of living for themselves and their children, so check out what your work/life balance is like. Consider also how as a couple you manage your income. If you started out putting all your earnings into a joint account, consider if it might not work better for you both to have individual accounts as well. This will be the subject of another posting.

Make a note of your scores and watch out for my posts on the other domains and what you can do to improve all these aspects of your relationship.

If you require any help with the domains above, let me know!

To your Relationship Success

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